Comments on: Death Happens: Get Over It! –Not So Fast http://nursingassistants.net/2008/02/27/death-happens-get-over-it-not-so-fast/ Tue, 22 Jun 2010 15:36:33 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Liz G http://nursingassistants.net/2008/02/27/death-happens-get-over-it-not-so-fast/comment-page-1/#comment-39190 Liz G Sat, 08 Mar 2008 06:39:00 +0000 http://nursingassistants.net/2008/02/27/death-happens-get-over-it-not-so-fast/#comment-39190 This was a great article. As a CNA in a skilled nursing facility, I am confronted with death of people I love all too often. Yes, I believe they are in a better place and free of pain, but it's still hard! I just wanted to add that I feel very lucky to work at the facility I am at. We have resources for dealing with our grieving and are even allowed time off for funerals! I'm glad to have found this site. This was a great article. As a CNA in a skilled nursing facility, I am confronted with death of people I love all too often. Yes, I believe they are in a better place and free of pain, but it’s still hard! I just wanted to add that I feel very lucky to work at the facility I am at. We have resources for dealing with our grieving and are even allowed time off for funerals! I’m glad to have found this site.

]]> By: Tracy D http://nursingassistants.net/2008/02/27/death-happens-get-over-it-not-so-fast/comment-page-1/#comment-39186 Tracy D Wed, 05 Mar 2008 23:00:08 +0000 http://nursingassistants.net/2008/02/27/death-happens-get-over-it-not-so-fast/#comment-39186 I have only been a CNA for 5 days and already I lost my first patient. She died about 4 hours after my shift ended. She was the first patient I did vital signs on and she was very kind to me as I fumbled around. 4 days later and she was gone. While I didn't have time to get to know her, I still feel that I lost a new friend. I hope that I never become so callous that I "get over it" instantly when a resident crosses over. I have only been a CNA for 5 days and already I lost my first patient. She died about 4 hours after my shift ended. She was the first patient I did vital signs on and she was very kind to me as I fumbled around. 4 days later and she was gone. While I didn’t have time to get to know her, I still feel that I lost a new friend.

I hope that I never become so callous that I “get over it” instantly when a resident crosses over.

]]> By: Patti http://nursingassistants.net/2008/02/27/death-happens-get-over-it-not-so-fast/comment-page-1/#comment-39183 Patti Sun, 02 Mar 2008 23:21:18 +0000 http://nursingassistants.net/2008/02/27/death-happens-get-over-it-not-so-fast/#comment-39183 Sad memories are eventually replaced by good memories, in most cases. Tears are shed and moments of shock and anger will be there. But, time buffers these feelings and this allows us to take charge of what we recall. I chose the good times as do most people. Thanks for the comment Jeff. Sad memories are eventually replaced by good memories, in most cases. Tears are shed and moments of shock and anger will be there. But, time buffers these feelings and this allows us to take charge of what we recall. I chose the good times as do most people.

Thanks for the comment Jeff.

]]> By: Patti http://nursingassistants.net/2008/02/27/death-happens-get-over-it-not-so-fast/comment-page-1/#comment-39182 Patti Sun, 02 Mar 2008 23:19:02 +0000 http://nursingassistants.net/2008/02/27/death-happens-get-over-it-not-so-fast/#comment-39182 Thank you Elaine for your warm comment. We appreciate it! Thank you Elaine for your warm comment. We appreciate it!

]]> By: jeff fox http://nursingassistants.net/2008/02/27/death-happens-get-over-it-not-so-fast/comment-page-1/#comment-39181 jeff fox Sun, 02 Mar 2008 19:31:44 +0000 http://nursingassistants.net/2008/02/27/death-happens-get-over-it-not-so-fast/#comment-39181 as a staff developement coordinator, i appreciate the good work that this site does to both educate and lift up the noble work done by cna's, the most important rung in the care ladder. while in nursing school, we had a visit from a hospital bereavement minister, and one of my fellow students asked, (to the best of my failing recall), "how do you get to where the pain of loss doesnt hurt so much?" he gave a textbook answer which i cant remember...but i pointed out then, and still believe today, that while we may be able to get to the place where the we dont feel the pain, the sad truth is that that is usually accompanied by an equal loss of the ability to feel love and compassion. Give me staff that can cry as opposed to an unfeeling staff. thanks again jeff as a staff developement coordinator, i appreciate the good work that this site does to both educate and lift up the noble work done by cna’s, the most important rung in the care ladder. while in nursing school, we had a visit from a hospital bereavement minister, and one of my fellow students asked, (to the best of my failing recall), “how do you get to where the pain of loss doesnt hurt so much?” he gave a textbook answer which i cant remember…but i pointed out then, and still believe today, that while we may be able to get to the place where the we dont feel the pain, the sad truth is that that is usually accompanied by an equal loss of the ability to feel love and compassion. Give me staff that can cry as opposed to an unfeeling staff.
thanks again
jeff

]]> By: Elaine Williams http://nursingassistants.net/2008/02/27/death-happens-get-over-it-not-so-fast/comment-page-1/#comment-39168 Elaine Williams Wed, 27 Feb 2008 22:54:50 +0000 http://nursingassistants.net/2008/02/27/death-happens-get-over-it-not-so-fast/#comment-39168 What a wonderful post. As a widow of four years, (my husband was with hospice 7 months for pain control with esophagus cancer), we had wonderful nurses, but it was my only exposure to nurses in the death and dying process. It's good to know there are other nurses that care as deeply as our hospice nurses did for my husband and my family. It really does make a difference, and it is evident to the patients in the care they receive by staff who really care. Thanks. Elaine What a wonderful post. As a widow of four years, (my husband was with hospice 7 months for pain control with esophagus cancer), we had wonderful nurses, but it was my only exposure to nurses in the death and dying process. It’s good to know there are other nurses that care as deeply as our hospice nurses did for my husband and my family. It really does make a difference, and it is evident to the patients in the care they receive by staff who really care. Thanks. Elaine

]]> By: Patti http://nursingassistants.net/2008/02/27/death-happens-get-over-it-not-so-fast/comment-page-1/#comment-39164 Patti Wed, 27 Feb 2008 22:08:45 +0000 http://nursingassistants.net/2008/02/27/death-happens-get-over-it-not-so-fast/#comment-39164 Another home runner from Heather! Excellent post. And all points are very true...I get so tired of hearing how it's all "part of the job" and that we need to toughen up. To do so would make us less caring, and this is the last thing we want. Another home runner from Heather! Excellent post. And all points are very true…I get so tired of hearing how it’s all “part of the job” and that we need to toughen up. To do so would make us less caring, and this is the last thing we want.

]]> By: Cheryl http://nursingassistants.net/2008/02/27/death-happens-get-over-it-not-so-fast/comment-page-1/#comment-39161 Cheryl Wed, 27 Feb 2008 20:10:12 +0000 http://nursingassistants.net/2008/02/27/death-happens-get-over-it-not-so-fast/#comment-39161 Thank You Heather for saying what should not have to be said! Where I work they do ASSUME the aides ARE heartless robots who SHOULD not have feelings of sadness when a resident passes. I have heard those exac words, GET OVER IT. Many times. One of my co workers got written up for crying "too much" after her favorite died. Heather what planet are you on today? (Kidding.) I ask that because I'm laughing at the thought that a nursing home would even consider allowing time off to go to funerals. The place I work would not do that. Of course IF the funeral is during the week, the DON or Admin will go. But not if it's on a weekend. They can use time but the aides who knew the resident best cannot. Thank You Heather for saying what should not have to be said!

Where I work they do ASSUME the aides ARE heartless robots who SHOULD not have feelings of sadness when a resident passes. I have heard those exac words,
GET OVER IT. Many times. One of my co workers got written up for crying “too much” after her favorite died.

Heather what planet are you on today? (Kidding.)

I ask that because I’m laughing at the thought that a nursing home would even consider allowing time off to go to funerals. The place I work would not do that. Of course IF the funeral is during the week, the DON or Admin will go. But not if it’s on a weekend. They can use time but the aides who knew the resident best cannot.

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